Romancing Death
Sometimes I wonder what will happen if I die suddenly. Would I be a memory or a great loss? Would I be discussed for a few days or remembered forever? Would they let me die in peace or start to dig in search of “the dirt?” Is this a simple soul searching process or actually a selfish curiosity to remain “alive” forever? How would I feel? I think of my loved ones and the attachments. I think of my unpublished works and would not want anyone to theorize and criticize and me not being able to defend or agree in person. I am scared of the unknown: where I will go? Or maybe duality exists and I have a same life on the other side of the thin line of existence and death. I wonder if I will get a choice on the other side: to play sports, to sing, to lead a different life in comparison to what I have right now. Is this a depressive thought or a mere inquisitive musing? I am attached to feelings, emotions, people, and things but would that all matte